Nassau: 2001

At least there is always the beach

So what else has been happening?  Well,  we have just witnessed the most interesting election in this small country’s history.  A fiercely fought election campaign resulted in a landslide victory for the opposition, the PLP (Progressive Liberal party – don’t be misled by the name, it is a left wing, ‘party of the people’ which had ruled for 25 straight years until two terms ago when mounting corruption made the people turn against it).  Rather like New Labour it has used its time out of power to renew itself and done a cracking job at winning around the young and popular vote.  Consequently the old Government was really caught napping and went from thirty odd seats to seven.  Perhaps the London PR agency the PLP employed (don’t know who yet) also had something to do with it?

I went to one of the rallies, which has to be on a theatrical par with any large-scale event I’ve ever been to.  Imagine a hot evening and about 10,000 loud and brightly attired Bahamians, in high spirits, drinking gin out of coconut shells and eating anything that could be battered and fried whilst dancing to very loud rap music.  Booming music blasted out for a gaudy stage and every so often a wave of rash promises would come from some candidate or other who would then sling a load of mud at the opposition (libel seems a rarely used legal device).

It was a blast.

(more…)

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Journal update June 2 2005

Well the Internet is certainly a fascinating thing. Whilst buying DVDs on Amazon I checked out Carmen (recommendation from Daisy last night for a flamenco DVD) and under it I found lots of Carmen Electra’s striptease plus ‘nude women’s wresting’ and ‘the mating habits of the earthbound human’ which gets a five star rating so obviously someone likes it.

Daisy and her new love are coming round. I’m off for my first sailboat trip with him from Smugglers cove to Governor’s Harbour tomorrow – I am the greenhorn crew and have to admit I’m pretty excited.

We had supper last night at their home.  Daisy told us of her three marriages: one for the children; one to learn to play golf and one for keeps.  She had a prenup agreement with no. 2 who was 25 years her senior. It included that she would agree to play golf, which she did, and discovered she had a passion and skill for it.  Sadly his children didn’t like her and after a few horrid dinners when ‘gold digger’ was hissed before pudding it all went sour.

Her fiirst husband took her child so that was very messy.

M. was married previously for 30 years and was a teacher in Yorkshire then, bam!  He came one day and his wife had served him with divorce papers.  He lost everything: the marriage; the house;  his kids. He has not seen his children for six/seven years and came here because his brother has a huge house in Tarpum Bay and took him in and let him live there.

He met Daisy through an Internet dating co.

Daisy claims she was offered a free trial and that she filled in her details whilst on a girls night in back home in Canada.

M. was looking for a tall thin cello player. Daisy convinced him he was just looking for himself and she was the one for him (she is not tall, nor thin, nor plays the cello).  M. is passionate about Bach.  He can tell you every detail about him including how Bach re-tuned the piano to be able to play any composition in any key.

As the evening drew in M.  sang me a folk song/sea shanty whilst Daisy made popadums and curry.  Their little clapper board sea side house was a magnet for mosquitoes and we sprayed the screens with OFF as the mosquitoes homed in and M played melodically into the night.  He was reminising as he played and told me of a 6 ft boa that bit him a few months earlier whilst they were sleeping at the side of the house when building it (oh yes, they built it themselves).  It made his finger bleed and swell up.  I swigged back some more rum, sprayed a little more OFF and laughed.

Life in Eleuthera

Life in Eleuthera

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Saved by the blood of Christ………

Thursday is the best day of the week in the Bahamas. Friday has its charms as everyone shortens their normally hectic four hour day to well, three or four actual hours, but Thursday is the day of the Nassau Tribune Supplement ‘Obituaries & Religion’. You hardly need get past the front page to know it will be time well spent. The cover illustration of a dewy dove taking flight from an outstretched hand sits above an advert for Video Solutions: “When LIFE throw’s that unexpected “death” curve at you, taking away your loved one, throw one back at LIFE by capturing their last moments on earth by video taping their final journey. R.I.P”. Now there is a film to remember.

The Obituaries are the cornerstone of Bahamian life, status and religious dedication. No time better than in death to show how well you are connected and just how good a sending off  your family will stump up for. Bahamian fervour for religion is poised delicately against deep-rooted superstition, class structure, tribal affiliations and a Constitution that protects not the freedom of speech but the freedom of worship.

In a country where there are as many churches as bars and where gay cruise ships are not permitted to dock as God fearing folk block the quay side, there is a scrambled love for religion.

Endless hours of Sunday morning public broadcasts still drone on with spoken obituaries listing every single surviving extended member of the family. And by family Bahamians mean both ‘inside’ or legal family and ‘outside’ or adopted families (mistresses and their children from the adulterous husband).

It is an honour to be invited to a funeral. Once you get past the three-hour sermon the drama can challenge East Enders any day. Sadly I missed the one where the wife was so enraged by the brazen behaviour of the mistress and her ‘outside’ family at the graveside that she grabbed the machete from the gravedigger and chased the strumpet around the graveyard. A policeman finally arrived and whilst wresting the machete from the wife fell into the open grave and broke his arm. A good funeral by all accounts.

Full-page obits confirm that the dearly deceased had status. On page five, Terrell Antionne R.

Island Graveyard Bahamas (usually near the sea in soft sand.....)

is only 41 and his smiling photo sits amongst a sea of text. There is a night of tribute for all friends and family, the funeral and two days leading to it in which they may pay their respects at the Funeral Home and crematorium. Like Northern England years ago, a good laying out and being seeing to pay your last respects is still important. Even in the heat.

Left to cherish Terrell’s memories are a cast of thousands with fantastic names. His wife and daughter (and her son), son, mother, father, three brothers, three sisters, father-in-law, mother-in-law, five brothers-in-law, six sisters-in-law (did they lose a brother in law I wonder?), three uncles, 12 aunts, a grand uncle, two grand aunts, nine nephews, numerous cousins, other relatives and friends are all named – all 141 of them (not including ‘and family’ or ‘neighbours’ or ‘and numerous friends’. Everyone from Rashad, Tyisha, Paris, Reudon, Reumae, Coolie and Miea are named. But connections are important and poor Terrell was obviously a clever and successful man so endless work and business colleagues are singled out too. Worthy of a special mention are Anthony Longley and the Toastmasters Club International 600, Nassau Christian Academy graduation class of 1987, Northern Caribbean University (formerly West Indies college Class of 1992), the management and staff of First Caribbean Bank and The Hon. Kenneth Russell, M.P and Minister of Housing with responsibility for the Bahamas Mortgage Corporation (BMC). Religious connections include Deacon Cordell Roberts, Rev. Merian Roberts J.P; Rev. Dr. Philip McPhee, Bishop Neil Ellis and the Mount Tabor Family, Pastor Mark & The Dominion Community Church family, Pastor Elva Johnson and the Amazing Grace Missionary Baptist Church family, Pastor Wilber Outten and Pastor Karol Roache and the Freeport Bible Church family and Father Rudy.

49-year-old Wilson Z (‘affectionately called “VINCE’) displays in his quarter page obit on page 9 that he was not so well connected as Antionne in either life or death. Along with the cast of family, extended family and loved ones, his ‘Other relatives and friends’ include: The Mudd, the Peas, Muphy town, Dundas town, Marsh Harbour, Hope town and Guana Cay communities. Relatives and friends may view the remains at the church in Abaco’.

But such status is of little matter to God. Well according to hundreds of sermons that will stupefy the congregations on any given Sunday, as the superstar ministers arrive in their fleets of limos to talk of equality and good living. Stay tune (sic), as there will always be a good few editorials at the back of the Thursday supplement. This week, along with 20 pages of obits, news of the enthronement of Bishop Laish Zane Boyd and a summary of the final sermon delivered by Bishop Drexel Gomez is a hard hitting piece on gambling in which Pastor Matthew Allen hopes that he: “will upset the religious mindset so badly that within the days or weeks to come their religious ignorance or hypocrisy would compel them to respond and stop crying and fighting against gambling and remain silent on casino gambling for the tourist as..you are nothing more than a big hypocrite”.  Who needs soap operas hey.

More to follow…………watch this space for news on the exorcism course I attended…

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