Are you suffering from HOGO?


According to publication ‘The Week’, first there was “FOMO”, the fear of missing out. Indeed, there is a buzzword of Fomo-sapiens: humans prone to fear of missing out.

Now it seems people are suffering from “HOGO” – the hassle of going out.

You know it don’t you?

You plan to go out, even buy tickets for something or book a table at a restaurant and then when it’s time to go you just find it all too much. Perhaps the weather is awful and as you look out at your frosty car the prospect of getting into it just doesn’t appeal. Or perhaps you are a bit apprehensive as the media scaremongering about the latest health threat has started to cause some anxiety. Or that final episode of the latest Netflix drama is just calling your name.

Whatever the reason, it seems it is affecting more and more of us and having a terrible knock on effect on the hospitality industry in particular. Says The Week: “Restaurateurs say they are experiencing a wav e of “no-shows”, owing to people deciding they can’t face leaving the house after all. The group Gusto Italian said its 12 restaurants had had 1,000 no-shows in one week alone. “

It’s undeniable that FOMO is bad for your health. It shows up when faced with seeing others, often on social media and feeling poor in comparison. When you see them allegedly having the best time ever or getting through tough times with ease and succeeding against all odds.

It causes mild, persistent anxiety, and it can negatively impact the quality of life and relationships. Most of all, it damages your relationship with yourself as you start a harsh internal dialogue of self-criticism and feeling not-enough.

We are all programmed to think that by missing out, we are flawed. It goes way back to our old cavemen thinking and primitive need for connection, as the tribe only survived together. We are hardwired to fear separation, so we now fear missing out and fail to embrace the joy of being happy in our own company.

The counterbalance to FOMO is JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out. I have to admit that lockdown made me really lean into this. All those journeys I didn’t have to take. Being able to look smart from the waist upwards only as I networked or saw clients online. A commute to my garden office across the lawn and three Pilates classes a week in my lounge. I found I was more grounded, had time to be in nature and with our many animals and to read. It was a joy.

In fact, I developed a code for what JOMO meant and shared it with my clients as follows:


Just say no! It gives you choices and boundaries and stops you from burnout.

Own the moment. If you are having a bad day, then be easy on yourself and remind yourself that this too shall pass.

Make what is right for you a priority

Only check social media/emails/voicemails/the news/etc. when you have to. Don’t be caught up in fearful headlines or stories. Certainly, don’t check them shortly before bed.

I suppose HOGO is the natural lovechild of that JOMO state.

Yet when I do make the effort to resist it and to go places and see people – such as before Christmas while visiting family in Birmingham and discovering the joys of ice skating again – I also remind myself that a balance from a life never leaving Lincolnshire is also healthy.

Let’s start a new buzzword, shall we? How about JOBO: The Joy of Being Oneself. Of doing whatever is right for you and feels good. Anytime.

To talk more about this and how I can support you book a discovery call –