It was my birthday last month.
Sadly, on my 50th birthday my darling Dad Alan died of a heart attack so amidst celebrating, I always have some more mortal thoughts. One is always about getting older and its impact.
There is a great You Tube video where someone takes a copy of a glossy women’s magazine (160 pages) and removes the ads. 40 pages are left and many of those still are trying to sell you something.
You are paying to be sold to.
Much of the editorial left behind is highly influenced by the advertisers too who make you feel bad and then offer you a ‘solution’.
So, when after countless cosmetic procedures people still are not happy they turn to other things to fill them up. Just look at some celebrities, dead or alive. The pressure to look great and pretend it is all fun all the time just breaks them. They sit in their massive designer houses and binge on food or alcohol or drugs and it is never enough.
I discovered something interesting when I first found premises for my therapy practice. It was based in a very slick and successful aesthetic beauty clinic. I thought it would be impressive and that the clinic’s clients would come to me for help. Yet I found that my best efforts to get their clients to see me failed. It took a while to work out that I was trying to fix people from the inside out and many of them were trying to fix themselves from the outside in.
Not that I am against trying to look your best, take pride in how you look or even have cosmetic procedures if absolutely necessary, like a friend who hated her crooked nose and was relieved when it was fixed.
What is crucial, is to realise that beauty really does start from within and you will never look or feel more amazing than when you learn to love the skin that you live in.
Start by creating a healthy relationship with yourself.
Develop an ability to give and receive love starting with you and actively engage in loving yourself.
Determine to stop talking to yourself in such a negative and self-destructive way that makes every day a soul sapping experience.
You can find a phrase that works for you such as ‘I am enough’ or one I saw recently ‘I’m the bomb’. For me I find that saying: ‘Just be the best version of you today!’ works a treat.
Determine to stop comparing yourself to others. Start with social media (switch off from it if possible). It is only ‘the edited ME’. It is not real, just people projecting the best of their day or highlight of their week. If seeing someone looking amazing makes you feel awful then say to yourself “This too shall pass”. And choose to do something about it such as eat better, exercise more, get more fresh air, sleep longer or whatever you need to nurture you.
Learn daily to love yourself for all your beauty.
As an old advert says: “Because you are worth it”.